My Dad passed away. A few years ago. Just when I was getting to know him.
It was a challenging time. Leaving my mom in the projects.
Accepting a scholarship to a top college. And turning down a major record deal.
Even though he wasn't there physically. He helped me through all of this. Somehow.
After College, whenever I performed, people would ask if I had an album they could buy, so one day I put together a CD with a song I did for my Dad, plus some radio appearances and unreleased cuts. There's more to it than that, but what's important? It was dedicated to my pops and I'm posting the title track, "So Close" (in 2 parts) online for anyone who wants to stream it during the next day or two. It will also be downloadable.
This track is personal and not for sale. I won't be leaving it online for more than a couple days, but this is for all those who are missing a Father today (Father's Day). Happy Father's Day Dad - You are so far, but Closer than Ever
To hear the track:
1. go to http://www.reverbnation.com/selfsuffice
2. scroll down to "So Close (1 of 2 parts)" and press "Play"
3. then find "So Close (Part 2 of 2)" underneath that and press "Play"
To download the track:
1. follow the same 3 steps above, BUT press "Download" instead of "Play"
Here are some quotes from the original limited Edition "So Close" CD dedicated to my pops:
Note from the Artist:
This collection chronicles my growth from fun loving baby poet to professional rap artist. These recordings highlight the experiences which I used to turn my passion into my responsibility. From rapping for fun to rapping to confront painful emotions instead of going crazy, from cyphers wit' my peers to mockery of my critics, freestyling to writing songs, from mixtapes to CDs to radio, from being without a father figure to becoming my own role model; this album represents my appreciation for the diversity of hiphop music, and the way I discovered my own special role in creating this culture.
Liner Note from Track 10. SO CLOSE (Title Track):
Another instant classic, this is the first autobiographical type track that Self Suffice ever recorded. He hasn't performed it much publicly, although he did perform it for Kweli after being invited to rock the mic at the Nkiru Center for Education and Culture. This is a powerful track and has evoked tears from both men and women who could identify with losing a father at a young age, and the difficult feelings that come with that loss. This song was a way for the RapOet to express and confront his thoughts on losing a father who seemed to have left before his time, but after friends heard it, they encouraged him to share it with others who were dealing with loss. One friend even joked sadly that this track makes you want to be the best parent possible, because one day your kid might write a song about you!
Originally, Self Suffice had intended to buy a copy of Astrud Gilberto's classic, "The Girl From Ipanema". To his surprise, when he got home and played the album, the classic Bossa Nova song had been remixed with a disco flavor, that didn't seem to do it justice. Still he looked through the record and found one track that inspired him to test out his new ability to loop beats. He brought it to his people, but it seemed too smooth to do anything with at the time. While listening to the track alone, he just started flowing about his relationship with his deceased father, wrote down the rhymes, and soon after recorded the track.
His dad's voice is taken from a tape that was exchanged between Self Suffice and his dad, while he was away at school, and his dad was locked up. Instead of writing to eachother, they recorded messages. Ironically, it was his dad's turn to send a message last, and the last message on the tape wasn't discovered until after he passed away. He says, "Don't take as long to get one back to me...I keep thinking of more things I want to say, but I'll save it for next time." This track was Self Suffice's way of sending a recorded message back to his father.
It's the title track of Self Suffice's first solo collection, not because it is his favorite, but because it is so moving. The more he recited and listened to his own words on this track, the more he came to grips with the reality, and understood the importance of his music, as well as his voice, in representing for the lives of countless misunderstood people. When his mother told him about a book store that one of his father's friends had founded, he was anxious to visit. When she told him there was a young brother working at the store who also rapped and was intelligent, he was interested in meeting with the brother, but wondered if he'd be a pretensious nerd, as many "intelligent" emcees seemed to be. The store turned out to be Leothy Miller's Nkiru Books, and the brother who worked there turned out to be Kweli , who would soon release the classic "Black Star" album on Rawkus. Kweli was surprisingly down to earth and cool, and of course is now one of the most popular (and skilled) emcees in the world.
Even back then, Self Suffice was honored to perform for Kweli at Nkiru Books, were he felt a connection to his deceased father. As the RapOet learned about some of his dad's struggles, of the fact that both his mother and father had been respected and published poets, and that his father had been friends with and published poetry with Mumia Abu Jamal, he realized more and more why he had to perform this song publicly, and continue to think, write, and recite. It was fitting that the first place he performed this song, then, was at Nkiru Books, which has since been purchased by Kweli and Mos Def. "As Long As I'm Alive, My Forefathers' Souls is Livin' Through Me!"
Note from the Artist:
This collection chronicles my growth from fun loving baby poet to professional rap artist. These recordings highlight the experiences which I used to turn my passion into my responsibility. From rapping for fun to rapping to confront painful emotions instead of going crazy, from cyphers wit' my peers to mockery of my critics, freestyling to writing songs, from mixtapes to CDs to radio, from being without a father figure to becoming my own role model; this album represents my appreciation for the diversity of hiphop music, and the way I discovered my own special role in creating this culture.
Liner Note from Track 10. SO CLOSE (Title Track):
Another instant classic, this is the first autobiographical type track that Self Suffice ever recorded. He hasn't performed it much publicly, although he did perform it for Kweli after being invited to rock the mic at the Nkiru Center for Education and Culture. This is a powerful track and has evoked tears from both men and women who could identify with losing a father at a young age, and the difficult feelings that come with that loss. This song was a way for the RapOet to express and confront his thoughts on losing a father who seemed to have left before his time, but after friends heard it, they encouraged him to share it with others who were dealing with loss. One friend even joked sadly that this track makes you want to be the best parent possible, because one day your kid might write a song about you!
Originally, Self Suffice had intended to buy a copy of Astrud Gilberto's classic, "The Girl From Ipanema". To his surprise, when he got home and played the album, the classic Bossa Nova song had been remixed with a disco flavor, that didn't seem to do it justice. Still he looked through the record and found one track that inspired him to test out his new ability to loop beats. He brought it to his people, but it seemed too smooth to do anything with at the time. While listening to the track alone, he just started flowing about his relationship with his deceased father, wrote down the rhymes, and soon after recorded the track.
His dad's voice is taken from a tape that was exchanged between Self Suffice and his dad, while he was away at school, and his dad was locked up. Instead of writing to eachother, they recorded messages. Ironically, it was his dad's turn to send a message last, and the last message on the tape wasn't discovered until after he passed away. He says, "Don't take as long to get one back to me...I keep thinking of more things I want to say, but I'll save it for next time." This track was Self Suffice's way of sending a recorded message back to his father.
It's the title track of Self Suffice's first solo collection, not because it is his favorite, but because it is so moving. The more he recited and listened to his own words on this track, the more he came to grips with the reality, and understood the importance of his music, as well as his voice, in representing for the lives of countless misunderstood people. When his mother told him about a book store that one of his father's friends had founded, he was anxious to visit. When she told him there was a young brother working at the store who also rapped and was intelligent, he was interested in meeting with the brother, but wondered if he'd be a pretensious nerd, as many "intelligent" emcees seemed to be. The store turned out to be Leothy Miller's Nkiru Books, and the brother who worked there turned out to be Kweli , who would soon release the classic "Black Star" album on Rawkus. Kweli was surprisingly down to earth and cool, and of course is now one of the most popular (and skilled) emcees in the world.
Even back then, Self Suffice was honored to perform for Kweli at Nkiru Books, were he felt a connection to his deceased father. As the RapOet learned about some of his dad's struggles, of the fact that both his mother and father had been respected and published poets, and that his father had been friends with and published poetry with Mumia Abu Jamal, he realized more and more why he had to perform this song publicly, and continue to think, write, and recite. It was fitting that the first place he performed this song, then, was at Nkiru Books, which has since been purchased by Kweli and Mos Def. "As Long As I'm Alive, My Forefathers' Souls is Livin' Through Me!"
Sending LOVE to all those who've lost a mother or father at an early age - or any age
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